In response to "posting annon"

I confess I was very saddened by your posting annonimus. I really hope you see this post. My heart went out for you and desperatly wished I could reply. When I read it I felt darkness, deep sadness and someone feeling very alone.
Honey you are not alone. Please do not be scared. I know sometimes situations are hard to talk about and maybe embarrassing because perhaps you feel at fault, or circumatances can be avoided or any number of reasons. Please talk to someone. You can't hold it in as it needs to be released to begin the healing process. I hope this helps:

Do you know the legend of the Cherokee Indian youth's rite of Passage?

His father takes him into the forest, blindfolds him and leaves him alone. He is required to sit on a stump the whole night and not remove the blindfold until the rays of the morning sun shine through it. He cannot cry out for help to anyone. Once he survives the night, he is a MAN. He cannot tell the other boys of this experience, because each lad must come into manhood on his own.
The boy is naturally terrified.
He can hear all kinds of noises.
Wild beasts must surely be all around him.
Maybe even some human might do him harm.
The wind blew the grass and earth, and shook his stump, but he sat stoically, never removing the blindfold. It would be the only way he could become a man! Finally , after a horrific night the sun appeared and he removed his blindfold. It was then that he discovered his father sitting on the stump next to him. He had been at watch the entire night, protecting his son from harm.

We, too, are never alone. Even when we don't know it, God is watching over us, sitting on the stump beside us. When trouble comes, all we have to do is reach out to Him.

That you can't see God or whoever is yur higher power
Doesn't mean He is not there.
'For we walk by faith, not by sight.'

I wish you well. It'll be OK. I'm here for you if you want to let it out.
Love,
Swoopie