Dairy of a Snow Shoveler (hilarious and true) - Hippymom

Dipity · 02-13-2010, 10:09 AM

Quote:

December 8 - 6:00 PM
It started to snow. The wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!

December 12
The sun has melted all our lovely snow. My neighbor tells me not to worry- we'll have so much by the end of winter that I'll never want to see snow again. I'm glad he's our neighbour.

December 15
Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. We aren't in Alaska , after all.

December 17
Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. Guess I should've bought a wood stove. God I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.

December 20
Electricity's back on, but had another 14 inches of the damned stuff last night. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in March... I think they're lying.

December 24
6 inches. If I ever catch the son of a bitch who drives that snow plough, I'll drag him through the snow by his ass and beat him to death with my broken shovel. Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols and open our presents, but I was too busy watching for the damned snowplough.

December 25
Merry fucking Christmas! Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. If I have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to stuff her into the microwave.

December 27
Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze; plumber
came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $1,400 to replace all my pipes.

December 29
10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in... That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?

December 30
Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plough driver, he is suing me for a million dollars for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his ass. The wife went home to her mother. Nine more inches predicted.

December 31
I set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.

January 8
Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?

It only took me and Tarty about 12 hours to think about setting fire to the house

Dipity · 02-13-2010, 10:09 AM

Also, it is snowing.

MamaBirdie · 02-13-2010, 10:13 AM

Sad but I can so see it. And that guy didn't even have kids staying home from school

White pills...hmmm...I knew I was leaving something out here

EarthyFreeSpirit · 02-13-2010, 10:30 AM

Tarot · 02-13-2010, 11:07 AM

For those of you who missed the DipTart Snow-a-Thon: Melia Digs Snow | Chick Guru & Queen of Tarts

FunBag · 02-13-2010, 11:24 AM

Spirit · 02-13-2010, 04:54 PM

Really, there was no alcohol involved in the making of that video? I'm guessing the snowtini was long gone by then? Imagine what it could have been.

Dipity · 02-13-2010, 04:56 PM

I was holding my dog and I don't tend to drink just one drink

02-13-2010, 10:09 AM	#2 (permalink)
Dipity Somewhere there's a bathtub with my name on it Join Date: May 2008 Sign: Pisces Posts: 41,647 Awards Showcase Total Awards: 5 Points: 1,289,041.57 Bank: 7,415,391.49 Total Points: 8,704,433.06 Donate	Also, it is snowing. __________________

02-13-2010, 10:13 AM	#3 (permalink)
MamaBirdie Peace Join Date: Oct 2006 Sign: Pisces Posts: 21,222 Awards Showcase Total Awards: 1 Points: 6,293,818.55 Bank: 58,048,173.04 Total Points: 64,341,991.59 Donate	Sad but I can so see it. And that guy didn't even have kids staying home from school White pills...hmmm...I knew I was leaving something out here __________________ As the saying goes, when a door slams shut in one place a window opens somewhere else. After staring at the door for many years, it finally occured to me to go look for the open window. I discovered I like sunlight and warmth much more than peeling old doors anyway, so I climbed out the window and reveled in my discovery. I will never sit behind a closed door again, no matter how comfortable my chair becomes. Me My blog http://www.theinsidelife.com/

02-13-2010, 10:30 AM	#4 (permalink)
EarthyFreeSpirit may peace prevail on earth Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Southern NH Sign: Scorpio Posts: 6,992 Awards Showcase Total Awards: 1 Points: 2,517.60 Bank: 3,499,037.66 Total Points: 3,501,555.26 Donate	__________________ I frequently tramped eight or ten miles through the deepest snow to keep an appointment with a beech-tree, or a yellow birch, or an old acquaintance among the pines. - Henry David Thoreau, 1817 - 1862 Due to an issue I'm having I need to stop using my children's names in the open forums for privacy reasons.

02-13-2010, 11:07 AM	#5 (permalink)
Tarot Bonanza Jellybean Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: In a treehouse, 3 feet off the ground... Sign: Virgo Posts: 43,926 Awards Showcase Total Awards: 3 Points: 1,848,684.65 Bank: 10,408,191.22 Total Points: 12,256,875.87 Donate	For those of you who missed the DipTart Snow-a-Thon: Melia Digs Snow \| Chick Guru & Queen of Tarts __________________ The Fool Experience the wonder of not knowing a damn thing. I could hide out under there. I just made you say 'underwear'

02-13-2010, 11:24 AM	#6 (permalink)
FunBag Always fresh, never frozen! Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: The great wide open Sign: Sagittarius Posts: 12,851 Points: 1,281,577.81 Bank: 3,683,495.28 Total Points: 4,965,073.09 Donate	__________________ Something's coming! I..... know...... that it issssss gonna be grrrrrreaaaatttt!

02-13-2010, 04:54 PM	#7 (permalink)
Spirit Believer In All Possibilities Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Between the Ocean and Mountains. Posts: 3,117 Awards Showcase Total Awards: 1 Points: 4,295.79 Bank: 809,827.83 Total Points: 814,123.62 Donate	Really, there was no alcohol involved in the making of that video? I'm guessing the snowtini was long gone by then? Imagine what it could have been. __________________ *Just another Hippy Mom learning to fly!*

02-13-2010, 04:56 PM	#8 (permalink)
Dipity Somewhere there's a bathtub with my name on it Join Date: May 2008 Sign: Pisces Posts: 41,647 Awards Showcase Total Awards: 5 Points: 1,289,041.57 Bank: 7,415,391.49 Total Points: 8,704,433.06 Donate	I was holding my dog and I don't tend to drink just one drink __________________

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