The Big Shoe-Down!!

[CliMax]

So, where do you stand on this one???

I love the environment as much as the next greenie; I'd just rather you leave it at the door. In other words, please lose the shoes before you cross my threshold. This policy elicits strong passions, both for and against. With holiday parties fast approaching, I decided to get to the bottom of the Great Shoe Debate.

The practice got its 15 minutes of fame in 2003, thanks to a memorable Sex & the City episode that, unfortunately, gave shoe-shucking a bad name. In order to enter the inner sanctum of a friend's baby shower, a horrified Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker) is ordered to add her Manolo Blahniks to a pile by the door. On the way out, she discovers her pricey footwear is missing, forcing her to head home in a ratty loaner pair of sneakers.

BTK -- Before the Kid -- my foot fetish only kicked in after the cleaning person did her magic, leaving us with a "go-ahead-and-eat-off-me" floor. On those occasions, I'd stop the DH at the door with an urgent "Take off your shoes!" Eventually, he got the hang of it.

But children really do change everything. Once I had a smiling, sweet-smelling babe scooting around on our wood floors, the thought of all the disgusting, uninvited debris visitors were tracking in made my skin crawl. Suddenly I was a lioness, willing to brave undarned socks and smelly feet -- not to mention nasty looks -- to protect my cub. Matthew's thumb-sucking only added to my anxiety. (On the other hand, some experts now say it's not a bad thing for kids to eat dirt -- that it might help build their immunities. I will try to remember this research when we're taking a second mortgage to cover his braces.) And so I embraced the shoes-off policy.

In my social circle, enforcement usually isn't a problem. Most guests assume they'll be performing a below-the-ankle strip tease, or think to ask before stepping inside. At parties, I almost always see piles of big and little boots, ballet slippers, and running shoes in the front hallway.

But then I got to wondering: What do my friends around the country think of this practice? So I asked them. It turns out that most like the idea.

Susan, the pearl-bedecked pal you met in my post Julia Child: Green Goddess wrote, "I always say I only did three things right as a parent: 1) the remove-your-shoes-at-the-front-door rule; 2) I never kept soda in the house and 3) I can't remember this one, but it does exist!"

Tim commented, "Living in Asia converted me to a shoe-less lifestyle at home and I've never looked back. Once I started thinking about what my shoes walked through during the day, I never wanted to track them through my home again."

Some go out of their way to accommodate their shoeless guests. Stef, who recently instituted the policy, wrote, "We had more than a dozen people over last week for a dinner and no one complained. But one guest asked if I had slippers for her; I gave her socks." Tim added that in Asia, people would generally provide slippers, sandals or flip-flops. "Alas," he admitted, "I'm not that gracious of a host. You'd be stuck in your stocking feet. Sorry!"

The kids, teens, and twentysomethings who were raised on the practice go with the flow. Elise has a "no, really kids, you don't have to take off your shoes here" policy, "but nine out of ten of my son's friends do it, anyway. It's been a hoot to watch the footwear go from size 10 Stride Rites to mammoth, stinky Etnies, Converse, Vans, and Birkenstocks." Robyn, who relishes rural living outside of Austin, wrote, "We live on a farm and consequently, all kinds of stuff gets tracked in. I've noticed, however, that the kids prefer to remove their shoes, even at other folks'."

Turns out it's mostly adults who balk at the idea. Nancy reported that her Dear Husband is very offended, à la Larry David, and "pretty much refuses to go inside if people insist."

However, I was most surprised by Michael's venom. "I HATE, HATE, HATE having to take my shoes off at someone's house," he wrote. "What if my socks smell or don't match?" If you're having guests over, he reasoned, aren't they going to show up nicely dressed, on their best behavior? "Your first job as the host is to make your friends comfy. Your second job is to not freak out if they track something in."

Francine shared Michael's sentiments and offered a friendly suggestion: "If someone has a shoes-off policy, they should put that on the invite so there won't be a roomful of embarrassed people with holes in their socks."

And now, let us return to my house. After I instituted The Rule six years ago, every time my father-in-law came over, he eyed me as if I were a Gulag commander, then marched in fully shod. Finally, my diplomatic mother-in-law put an end to the Cold War by supplying slippers for both of them.

Like AJ, who maintains an "if you'd like to take off your shoes, that'd be great" kind of policy, I've mellowed over time. I pick my battles, especially when it comes to my DH's dad. Truth be told, I don't have a leg to stand on now that my former rug rat has morphed into a kid who cruises through our apartment on his dirty scooter. (When you lack a backyard, basement, or Bungee jump, concessions must be made.)

Which leads me to an even bigger confession: I wear shoes. In the house. All the time.

For the last couple of years I have suffered from painful heel spurs, so when I broke my foot in the summer of '08, it sealed the deal -- I had to opt for support over spotless floors. Now it's a "do as I say, not as I do" rule. I vacuum on a semi-regular basis -- please don't ask how often I pull out the sponge mop -- and try to remember to wipe down my soles. But the only real solution will be springing for a house-only pair of lace-ups.

I guess my father-in-law has the last laugh, after all. Let's just keep it to ourselves.

So when it comes to the Great Shoe Debate, where do you stand? Post away!

The Big Shoe-Down | Seventh Generation


For me, I don't take my shoes off when I walk in - which is in through the garage and into the kitchen. I don't like not having shoes on in the kitchen, because I don't like feeling little pieces of shit through my socks... Once I venture into the living room or bedrooms, I take them off.

My kids automatically take them off as soon as they come in.

At other people's houses though, I must admit I do feel weird to leave them on... but not QUITE weird enough to want to take them off, esp. in a party situation. I've been at a party where there was a strict no shoes policy, and yes, I was the one with the hole in the sock. It feels weird to stand around socializing with people with no shoes on!

[Pristine]

We don't really have a rule. It just depends on the weather, and the kids have to take them off at daycare, so they don't really mind.

[Farrah]

I make my family take them off but if visitors come I wouldn't care as long as they were not too dirty.
I remember that Sex and the City episode I think if it was me I would of stuck my shoes in my purse.

[BlackBunny]

This is pretty funny because Czechs are famous for being very strict about taking shoes off in the homes I had some foreigners laugh about it or being shocked...but you would really offend somebody if you didn´t do it (well, most people anyway). You might be told though that you can keep your shoes on when you enter a countryside house where people walk frequently with dirty shoes from the garden. But in city apartments - hardly ever. And I am really squirmish about having anyone with outdoor shoes inside at my place. I love slippers Cannot live without them..

[BlackBunny]

Oh yeah and we have slippers prepared for our guests, almost everybody here

[Dipity]

Shoes off when you cross my doorstep I wouldn't dream of enforcing that with a guest, but it makes me when they don't know to do it automatically

[EarthyFreeSpirit]

I hate wearing shoes so I welcome every opportunity to take them off

[boedica]

it would be nice if i would enforce this

the dogs are bad enough, taking shoes off would cut down on the yuckkies.

i take mine off very fast....but not at the door.

[Karma Kameleon]

I have no problem wiping my feet, and of course if it was muddy or wet, taking off my shoes, but as a regular course, when going into someone else's house as a guest I would way prefer to keep my shoes on. I would not be comfortable for a variety of reasons taking them off. If it's about babies crawling around, etc, and you are having a party, just clean the floor before you let them crawl around again. .

In my own house, we take our shoes off fairly soon, just for comfort sake, but not immediately. It actually makes me MORE uncomfortable when people leave their shoes at the front door of my house. Like they are planning on staying a really long time.

[Dipity]

That's so interesting, because it makes me uncomfortable for me to leave my shoes on at someone's house, like they think I like tracking mud and dirt and germs all over their (probably just cleaned) floor and I don't have the manners to take them off without being told.